








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Faceit | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4193 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4195 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3090 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3492 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $743,594 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pancake | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | LW | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | virx1 | 61% | 147 |
| #4 | Ericcc | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | PlzMoar | 58% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | virx1 | 61% | 147 |
| #4 | Ericcc | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | PlzMoar | 58% | 69 |
| #6 | Xie | 50% | 58 |
| #7 | RGood | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | virx1 | 14 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Xie | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | LW | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Pancake | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | PlzMoar | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | virx1 | 601 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | PlzMoar | 235 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Xie | 198 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pancake | 168 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | RGood | 109 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pancake | +2.74 | 79 | 54 |
| #2 | LW | +2.22 | 88 | 57 |
| #3 | ZaKire | +1.70 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | Xie | +0.62 | 62 | 59 |
| #5 | Ericcc | +0.43 | 74 | 62 |





