








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,579 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 980 | 21% |
| Smokes | 671 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1781 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1147 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,973 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeadRecon | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | LittleJohnny | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | TheSwaggyMcYolo | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | ZaKire | 64% | 47 |
| #5 | virx1 | 62% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | virx1 | 16 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Xie | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Pancake | 8 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | ZaKire | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Ericcc | 5 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | virx1 | 557 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | Xie | 187 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | ZaKire | 181 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Pancake | 158 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | PlzMoar | 148 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheSwaggyMcYolo | +3.30 | 75 | 83 |
| #2 | LW | +3.12 | 89 | 53 |
| #3 | Pancake | +2.67 | 83 | 56 |
| #4 | deckle- | +2.59 | 59 | 55 |
| #5 | Xie | +2.00 | 64 | 61 |





