








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 566 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 344 matches | ||
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6450 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7941 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5457 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4911 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,300,567 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ericcc | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | Xie | 54% | 108 |
| #3 | guy hanukah | 49% | 396 |
| #4 | PlzMoar | 48% | 81 |
| #5 | glizzyqueen | 48% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | glizzyqueen | 48% | 133 |
| #6 | virx1 | 47% | 70 |
| #7 | _Lerff | 45% | 38 |
| #8 | ZaKire | 44% | 45 |
| #9 | Pancake | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xie | 23 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Pancake | 17 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | PlzMoar | 15 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | virx1 | 14 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Ericcc | 7 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guy hanukah | 2291 | 0.27 | 62 min |
| #2 | glizzyqueen | 557 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | Xie | 392 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | PlzMoar | 304 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | virx1 | 303 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pancake | +1.76 | 82 | 52 |
| #2 | Ericcc | +1.03 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | Xie | +0.98 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | RGood | +0.69 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | ZaKire | -0.09 | 61 | 66 |





