








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 353 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6895 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5937 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3667 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 6354 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $784,466 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheSwaggyMcYolo | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | LW | 62% | 105 |
| #3 | ZaKire | 61% | 147 |
| #4 | sLug | 57% | 72 |
| #5 | LittleJohnny | 57% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Xie | 51% | 111 |
| #10 | Pancake | 50% | 98 |
| #11 | RichMoney | 49% | 61 |
| #12 | RGood | 47% | 70 |
| #13 | deckle- | 47% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pancake | 19 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | PlzMoar | 17 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ZaKire | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Xie | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | RGood | 10 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PlzMoar | 834 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #2 | ZaKire | 507 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | deckle- | 478 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | Pancake | 390 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | Xie | 382 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheSwaggyMcYolo | +2.82 | 82 | 81 |
| #2 | Pancake | +2.21 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | LW | +2.11 | 88 | 54 |
| #4 | ZaKire | +1.81 | 66 | 72 |
| #5 | Ericcc | +1.21 | 77 | 57 |





