








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 935 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4294 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2446 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3618 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3840 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,030,486 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1942 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZaKire | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | Goober -iwnl- | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | LW | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | Sepicraze | 60% | 40 |
| #5 | TheSimeolin | 58% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | virx1 | 50% | 98 |
| #12 | Ericcc | 47% | 36 |
| #13 | RGood | 41% | 37 |
| #14 | PlzMoar | 40% | 67 |
| #15 | ♡ Gr1ff1n ♡ | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xie | 25 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | virx1 | 22 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | RGood | 14 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | PlzMoar | 12 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | Ericcc | 12 | 0.0150 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | virx1 | 468 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | Xie | 309 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | PlzMoar | 293 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | cluckes | 265 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #5 | Sepicraze | 181 | 0.23 | 5 min |





