










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,812 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 861 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2000 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1302 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1649 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $531,654 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr Goon | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | lil'caesars | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | comediaN | 62% | 97 |
| #4 | EnglishName | 61% | 108 |
| #5 | Tante Rafi | 58% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tante Rafi | 58% | 55 |
| #6 | レイ | 53% | 114 |
| #7 | Abang Og Aura | 52% | 114 |
| #8 | Bocchi | 51% | 39 |
| #9 | N | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | レイ | 44 | 0.0195 |
| #2 | EnglishName | 40 | 0.0185 |
| #3 | Abang Og Aura | 23 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Tante Rafi | 14 | 0.0128 |
| #5 | comediaN | 10 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abang Og Aura | 653 | 0.29 | 15 min |
| #2 | comediaN | 252 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | EnglishName | 236 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Tante Rafi | 166 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | レイ | 159 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EnglishName | +4.82 | 74 | 55 |
| #2 | comediaN | +2.25 | 63 | 57 |
| #3 | Bocchi | +1.76 | 66 | 51 |
| #4 | レイ | +1.66 | 73 | 43 |
| #5 | lil'caesars | +1.09 | 62 | 54 |





