








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 772 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




155 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,973 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1764 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2001 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1665 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1543 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,651,243 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 632 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bocchi | 55% | 51 |
| #2 | Himejoshi Enjoyer | 53% | 114 |
| #3 | Abang Og Aura | 53% | 175 |
| #4 | EnglishName | 52% | 229 |
| #5 | Dr Goon | 52% | 245 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | EnglishName | 52% | 229 |
| #5 | Dr Goon | 52% | 245 |
| #6 | Tante Rafi | 49% | 142 |
| #7 | N | 49% | 86 |
| #8 | comediaN | 47% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EnglishName | 67 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | Abang Og Aura | 45 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | comediaN | 31 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Tante Rafi | 25 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Dr Goon | 19 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abang Og Aura | 1065 | 0.30 | 25 min |
| #2 | comediaN | 586 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | EnglishName | 476 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Tante Rafi | 429 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | Dr Goon | 237 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EnglishName | +3.71 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | Bocchi | +1.20 | 67 | 52 |
| #3 | Dr Goon | +1.13 | 59 | 48 |
| #4 | レイ | +0.99 | 75 | 41 |
| #5 | Himejoshi Enjoyer | +0.74 | 58 | 48 |





