








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1572 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1023 | 32% |
| Smokes | 779 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 777 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 596 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $509,686 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr Goon | 57% | 92 |
| #2 | レイ | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | comediaN | 54% | 90 |
| #4 | Abang Og Aura | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | EnglishName | 54% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EnglishName | 29 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | レイ | 20 | 0.0193 |
| #3 | comediaN | 19 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | Abang Og Aura | 9 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | Dr Goon | 8 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | comediaN | 282 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | Abang Og Aura | 200 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #3 | EnglishName | 167 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | レイ | 63 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tante Rafi | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EnglishName | +4.00 | 72 | 54 |
| #2 | comediaN | +2.16 | 68 | 58 |
| #3 | Bocchi | +1.08 | 70 | 50 |
| #4 | Himejoshi Enjoyer | +0.88 | 59 | 48 |
| #5 | レイ | +0.02 | 69 | 32 |





