








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 143 | 19% |
| Smokes | 329 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 127 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 147 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $387,855 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mister Thicc | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | β Subarashii | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Call me LukyS | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | π₯KΓΆttelπ₯ | 44% | 45 |
| #5 | Faultier 361 | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | π₯KΓΆttelπ₯ | 44% | 45 |
| #5 | Faultier 361 | 44% | 25 |
| #6 | penguin πππππ§‘β€ | 42% | 67 |
| #7 | Dstry | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | Neven SuBOTic | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | penguin πππππ§‘β€ | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Dstry | 3 | 0.0222 |
| #3 | π₯KΓΆttelπ₯ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Faultier 361 | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Call me LukyS | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | penguin πππππ§‘β€ | 451 | 0.34 | 13 min |
| #2 | Faultier 361 | 69 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | π₯KΓΆttelπ₯ | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Call me LukyS | 57 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dstry | 37 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mister Thicc | +4.51 | 69 | 29 |
| #2 | penguin πππππ§‘β€ | +3.70 | 79 | 78 |
| #3 | Call me LukyS | +1.24 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | Dstry | +0.90 | 58 | 67 |
| #5 | Neven SuBOTic | +0.78 | 68 | 59 |





