








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,506 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1470 | 42% |
| Smokes | 824 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 589 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 623 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $200,941 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faultier 361 | 75% | 40 |
| #2 | daryanistcool | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | 🥐Köttel🥐 | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | PLK | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | osuun | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | daryanistcool | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | 🥐Köttel🥐 | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | PLK | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | osuun | 41% | 17 |
| #6 | Racoon | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🥐Köttel🥐 | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | daryanistcool | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🥐Köttel🥐 | 43 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #2 | Faultier 361 | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | osuun | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | Racoon | 12 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | daryanistcool | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mister Thicc | +4.88 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Faultier 361 | +0.28 | 77 | 37 |
| #3 | daryanistcool | -1.08 | 59 | 26 |
| #4 | osuun | -3.10 | 62 | 21 |
| #5 | PLK | -3.80 | 41 | 18 |





