










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 269 | 20% |
| Smokes | 388 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 307 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 387 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,342 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shisen | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | kosto | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Dont Worry ૐ | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | En3rget1c | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Beavis- | 52% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | En3rget1c | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Beavis- | 52% | 50 |
| #6 | SaltyPatty | 51% | 35 |
| #7 | Mafi | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | Jožko_Vajda_Peek | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beavis- | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Jožko_Vajda_Peek | 4 | 0.0205 |
| #3 | En3rget1c | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | kosto | 1 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | shisen | 1 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaltyPatty | 175 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #2 | Beavis- | 95 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | En3rget1c | 21 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jožko_Vajda_Peek | 19 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mafi | 18 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beavis- | +3.06 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Dont Worry ૐ | +0.85 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | En3rget1c | +0.82 | 79 | 43 |
| #4 | Mafi | +0.71 | 82 | 39 |
| #5 | DENJI | -1.36 | 59 | 36 |





