








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 804 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8088 | 22% |
| Smokes | 11145 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 9213 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 9001 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,052,460 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Kr1ppsen | 51% | 177 |
| #10 | GRRRRR | 51% | 77 |
| #11 | lolíček | 50% | 403 |
| #12 | PAPA MUNTZ | 50% | 123 |
| #13 | Císařův pikař | 43% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolíček | 21 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | CaPPy ☾☜☯☞☽ | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Riso | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Kr1ppsen | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Koli^_^ | 5 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaltyPatty | 1243 | 0.21 | 29 min |
| #2 | Koli^_^ | 842 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #3 | Riso | 838 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #4 | lolíček | 782 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #5 | Kr1ppsen | 718 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riso | +3.33 | 92 | 65 |
| #2 | En3rget1c | +1.88 | 85 | 38 |
| #3 | Dont Worry ૐ | +1.70 | 82 | 60 |
| #4 | Kyanid | +1.61 | 75 | 71 |
| #5 | Kr1ppsen | +1.18 | 78 | 74 |





