








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 815 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 613 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7840 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7767 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6060 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4655 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,843,686 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1ck | 52% | 140 |
| #2 | Sockstwo | 52% | 50 |
| #3 | jonny | 50% | 313 |
| #4 | ypsilon | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | .c0tinamid | 48% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ⭕⃤Sun⭕⃤ | 47% | 252 |
| #7 | C4n't hÄndel IT | 46% | 108 |
| #8 | ----Noah---- | 44% | 376 |
| #9 | VinzzAP | 44% | 98 |
| #10 | Scheishaus9 | 37% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ----Noah---- | 72 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | .c0tinamid | 23 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | jonny | 21 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | C4n't hÄndel IT | 13 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤Sun⭕⃤ | 10 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ----Noah---- | 1483 | 0.19 | 33 min |
| #2 | .c0tinamid | 766 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | ⭕⃤Sun⭕⃤ | 628 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | jonny | 626 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #5 | n1ck | 382 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonny | +2.91 | 92 | 54 |
| #2 | n1ck | +2.66 | 90 | 54 |
| #3 | Jasper | +0.99 | 70 | 66 |
| #4 | ----Noah---- | +0.01 | 71 | 54 |
| #5 | ypsilon | -0.20 | 49 | 62 |





