








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 447 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 393 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4649 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4930 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2826 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3213 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,832,022 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 727 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C4n't hÄndel IT | 59% | 74 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤Sun⭕⃤ | 53% | 137 |
| #3 | n1ck | 53% | 76 |
| #4 | Sockstwo | 49% | 61 |
| #5 | .c0tinamid | 49% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | .c0tinamid | 49% | 170 |
| #6 | jonny | 46% | 158 |
| #7 | Jasper | 44% | 376 |
| #8 | VinzzAP | 42% | 53 |
| #9 | Scheishaus9 | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasper | 32 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | .c0tinamid | 16 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | jonny | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | C4n't hÄndel IT | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Scheishaus9 | 6 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasper | 1614 | 0.20 | 45 min |
| #2 | .c0tinamid | 459 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | jonny | 339 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | ⭕⃤Sun⭕⃤ | 322 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | n1ck | 225 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1ck | +2.89 | 92 | 55 |
| #2 | jonny | +2.47 | 92 | 53 |
| #3 | Jasper | +0.68 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | ----Noah---- | +0.25 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | Sockstwo | +0.10 | 70 | 47 |





