








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 464 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4439 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4549 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3202 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1878 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,627,068 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ----Noah---- | 53% | 137 |
| #2 | n1ck | 53% | 70 |
| #3 | jonny | 51% | 65 |
| #4 | C4n't hÄndel IT | 49% | 366 |
| #5 | Tacatabro123 | 49% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | .c0tinamid | 48% | 92 |
| #7 | ypsilon | 47% | 258 |
| #8 | Jasper | 47% | 252 |
| #9 | Fluppy | 41% | 34 |
| #10 | VinzzAP | 38% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C4n't hÄndel IT | 37 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | ----Noah---- | 23 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Jasper | 18 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | ypsilon | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | .c0tinamid | 10 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasper | 1023 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #2 | ----Noah---- | 541 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | ypsilon | 376 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | .c0tinamid | 232 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | n1ck | 194 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1ck | +4.40 | 92 | 52 |
| #2 | jonny | +3.70 | 92 | 52 |
| #3 | Jasper | +1.71 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | ----Noah---- | +1.13 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | Tacatabro123 | +0.96 | 61 | 17 |





