








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 135 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 591 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1800 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2425 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2671 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,136,896 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 775 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Wavier | 50% | 119 |
| #15 | TrennanL | 48% | 122 |
| #16 | TheMeatBitch | 45% | 31 |
| #17 | Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. | 41% | 64 |
| #18 | Bortilli | 41% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goomba | 46 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Japanese Fingerman | 44 | 0.0180 |
| #3 | first3numbers | 29 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | Gwert | 29 | 0.0176 |
| #5 | Jerry | 20 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killer Fish | 446 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | Goomba | 271 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | TrennanL | 261 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Japanese Fingerman | 206 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jerry | 190 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japanese Fingerman | +7.22 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | Gwert | +7.07 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | the hell? | +3.16 | 71 | 53 |
| #4 | J Peppa 💯🔥 | +2.78 | 80 | 39 |
| #5 | lemon | +2.65 | 82 | 51 |





