








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2520 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1423 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2174 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1578 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $608,843 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CallmePablo | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | em0$tarr | 61% | 36 |
| #3 | Soerensen | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | kim's nr1 cs spiller | 45% | 147 |
| #5 | raz ♿ | 44% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kim's nr1 cs spiller | 20 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | nose table | 16 | 0.0258 |
| #3 | raz ♿ | 15 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Soerensen | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | CallmePablo | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raz ♿ | 733 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #2 | kim's nr1 cs spiller | 533 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | CallmePablo | 97 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | nose table | 89 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | em0$tarr | 89 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | em0$tarr | +4.25 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | Soerensen | +3.92 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | kim's nr1 cs spiller | +1.79 | 60 | 68 |
| #4 | CallmePablo | +1.75 | 88 | 63 |
| #5 | raz ♿ | -0.55 | 70 | 71 |





