








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1393 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2174 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2712 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1932 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $373,363 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roger Cocaciel | 59% | 73 |
| #2 | Two Wine Glass In | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | Joking-radio | 48% | 181 |
| #4 | AidsDispenser | 48% | 148 |
| #5 | I pledge Eligence | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | 破壊の神 Kawzin | 40% | 63 |
| #7 | Chonk | 39% | 18 |
| #8 | Dywoo | 37% | 38 |
| #9 | Wobbey | 34% | 38 |
| #10 | NA_Jerry | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joking-radio | 27 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | 破壊の神 Kawzin | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | AidsDispenser | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Roger Cocaciel | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Two Wine Glass In | 3 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joking-radio | 221 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | I pledge Eligence | 105 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Two Wine Glass In | 91 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Roger Cocaciel | 73 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dywoo | 68 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roger Cocaciel | +3.00 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | CHU CHOQUÉ ! | +1.69 | 51 | 53 |
| #3 | I pledge Eligence | +1.14 | 64 | 74 |
| #4 | Two Wine Glass In | +0.91 | 46 | 65 |
| #5 | NA_Jerry | +0.42 | 66 | 54 |





