








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 226 | 18% |
| Smokes | 307 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 338 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 388 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,769 of utility $24 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Privilage ✠ | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Roger Cocaciel | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | Joking-radio | 44% | 86 |
| #4 | CHU CHOQUÉ ! | 40% | 63 |
| #5 | AidsDispenser | 38% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Roger Cocaciel | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | Joking-radio | 44% | 86 |
| #4 | CHU CHOQUÉ ! | 40% | 63 |
| #5 | AidsDispenser | 38% | 48 |
| #6 | Wobbey | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHU CHOQUÉ ! | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Joking-radio | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Roger Cocaciel | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | AidsDispenser | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Wobbey | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joking-radio | 135 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | CHU CHOQUÉ ! | 94 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Roger Cocaciel | 28 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | Wobbey | 26 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | White Privilage ✠ | 26 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Privilage ✠ | +4.08 | 78 | 44 |
| #2 | Roger Cocaciel | +2.60 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | CHU CHOQUÉ ! | +0.37 | 53 | 52 |
| #4 | Joking-radio | -0.20 | 38 | 46 |
| #5 | 破壊の神 Kawzin | -0.20 | 67 | 27 |





