








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1524 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2172 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1132 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1548 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $767,608 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 412 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHU CHOQUÉ ! | 59% | 73 |
| #2 | Joking-radio | 54% | 168 |
| #3 | AidsDispenser | 53% | 49 |
| #4 | 破壊の神 Kawzin | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Roberto Lupin | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | AidsDispenser | 53% | 49 |
| #4 | 破壊の神 Kawzin | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Roberto Lupin | 51% | 47 |
| #6 | White Privilage ✠ | 48% | 64 |
| #7 | Mike | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joking-radio | 20 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | CHU CHOQUÉ ! | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Roberto Lupin | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | 破壊の神 Kawzin | 4 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | White Privilage ✠ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joking-radio | 248 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | White Privilage ✠ | 126 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | CHU CHOQUÉ ! | 120 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Roberto Lupin | 87 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mike | 48 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roger Cocaciel | +2.84 | 80 | 51 |
| #2 | CHU CHOQUÉ ! | +1.82 | 56 | 55 |
| #3 | 破壊の神 Kawzin | +0.15 | 75 | 34 |
| #4 | White Privilage ✠ | +0.10 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | Mike | -0.64 | 81 | 43 |





