








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 200 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1901 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3137 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2534 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2221 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,144 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmoredHarp | 73% | 37 |
| #2 | patrickM- | 61% | 64 |
| #3 | getrektyshka | 59% | 74 |
| #4 | b1ess3d' | 55% | 100 |
| #5 | TrashPanda :) | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Josh | 50% | 70 |
| #9 | mrshmlw- | 50% | 107 |
| #10 | Tek | 48% | 82 |
| #11 | BOB | 47% | 75 |
| #12 | ︻デJ̷o̷y̷ - 一一 | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrshmlw- | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | patrickM- | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | b1ess3d' | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ArmoredHarp | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | BOB | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | getrektyshka | 309 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | b1ess3d' | 302 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | mrshmlw- | 283 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | patrickM- | 267 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tek | 190 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmoredHarp | +4.17 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | BOB | +2.01 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | ︻デJ̷o̷y̷ - 一一 | +1.44 | 78 | 70 |
| #4 | Conath | +1.31 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | getrektyshka | +0.49 | 80 | 70 |





