








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2579 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2447 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2120 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2487 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $852,253 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ gonzo | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | ArmoredHarp | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | getrektyshka | 58% | 59 |
| #4 | TrashPanda :) | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | Green | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | b1ess3d' | 48% | 48 |
| #8 | BOB | 45% | 56 |
| #9 | Josh | 44% | 62 |
| #10 | patrickM- | 40% | 15 |
| #11 | Tek | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmoredHarp | 12 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | Green | 11 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | Conath | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Josh | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | TrashPanda :) | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conath | 290 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | getrektyshka | 240 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | ✪ gonzo | 148 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | ArmoredHarp | 142 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Josh | 130 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmoredHarp | +2.59 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | BOB | +1.22 | 90 | 63 |
| #3 | Conath | +0.87 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | getrektyshka | +0.71 | 79 | 71 |
| #5 | Green | +0.61 | 78 | 27 |





