








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 194 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3097 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1952 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3306 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1702 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1424 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,313,139 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biscuit Fister | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | ✪ patrickM | 55% | 86 |
| #3 | 怒り | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | bam | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Ν-JOY ヅ | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b1ess3d' | 420 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | ✪ patrickM | 361 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Baer | 330 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Ket | 254 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | CNR | 217 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bam | +2.54 | 74 | 40 |
| #2 | Ν-JOY ヅ | +2.50 | 74 | 60 |
| #3 | coin | +2.44 | 88 | 62 |
| #4 | Biscuit Fister | +1.91 | 83 | 68 |
| #5 | CNR | +1.16 | 63 | 60 |





