








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 194 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3097 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1952 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3306 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1702 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1424 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,291,939 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | getrektyshka | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | patrickM- | 55% | 86 |
| #3 | 怒り | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | bam | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | ︻デJ̷o̷y̷ - 一一 | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b1ess3d' | 412 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | patrickM- | 360 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Baer | 319 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Ketster | 239 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Conath | 217 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bam | +2.54 | 78 | 45 |
| #2 | ︻デJ̷o̷y̷ - 一一 | +2.50 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | BOB | +2.44 | 91 | 65 |
| #4 | getrektyshka | +1.91 | 87 | 69 |
| #5 | Conath | +1.16 | 67 | 62 |





