








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1111 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1589 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 929 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1229 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $862,482 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Baer | 40% | 30 |
| #13 | BOB | 39% | 46 |
| #14 | Dw0lke | 38% | 34 |
| #15 | DaimonAngel | 37% | 35 |
| #16 | getrektyshka | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b1ess3d' | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Conath | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | mrshmlw- | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Ancros | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | 🎉🍾HAPPY NEW YEARS🍾🎉 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conath | 217 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | mrshmlw- | 187 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | b1ess3d' | 150 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | patrickM- | 138 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Baer | 128 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOB | +2.34 | 89 | 58 |
| #2 | ︻デJ̷o̷y̷ - 一一 | +2.16 | 84 | 70 |
| #3 | DaimonAngel | +0.92 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | Ketster | +0.77 | 86 | 62 |
| #5 | Conath | +0.77 | 73 | 61 |





