








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2618 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2919 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1632 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2086 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $525,424 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmoredHarp | 68% | 38 |
| #2 | TrashPanda :) | 67% | 24 |
| #3 | patrickM- | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | Conath | 59% | 74 |
| #5 | mrshmlw- | 58% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | BOB | 56% | 55 |
| #8 | ✪ gonzo | 53% | 15 |
| #9 | b1ess3d' | 52% | 60 |
| #10 | Ketster | 46% | 13 |
| #11 | Josh | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmoredHarp | 7 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | mrshmlw- | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ✪ gonzo | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | BOB | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | TrashPanda :) | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conath | 175 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | mrshmlw- | 155 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | b1ess3d' | 154 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | ArmoredHarp | 140 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | BOB | 124 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmoredHarp | +2.75 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | BOB | +2.44 | 90 | 63 |
| #3 | getrektyshka | +1.05 | 83 | 68 |
| #4 | Conath | +0.46 | 64 | 60 |
| #5 | TrashPanda :) | +0.41 | 74 | 62 |





