








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,943 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1342 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1695 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 617 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1289 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $438,414 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | mrshmlw- | 45% | 56 |
| #12 | Tek | 42% | 59 |
| #13 | TrashPanda :) | 41% | 17 |
| #14 | Josh | 39% | 46 |
| #15 | Baer | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | getrektyshka | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | ArmoredHarp | 5 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | ✪ gonzo | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | b1ess3d' | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | mrshmlw- | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | getrektyshka | 206 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | b1ess3d' | 191 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Conath | 167 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | mrshmlw- | 144 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | patrickM- | 121 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmoredHarp | +2.86 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | BOB | +2.61 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | ︻デJ̷o̷y̷ - 一一 | +1.98 | 75 | 74 |
| #4 | Conath | +0.42 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | getrektyshka | +0.14 | 79 | 68 |





