








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




147 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5532 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3809 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4811 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4574 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $940,923 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 494 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | butterscotch | 51 | 0.0253 |
| #2 | tha chubbsta | 49 | 0.0262 |
| #3 | SeeYesGo | 29 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | Ghostie-Kun | 29 | 0.0133 |
| #5 | !Flop | 21 | 0.0194 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !Flop | 277 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #2 | wgns | 220 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | butterscotch | 167 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Manpoints69 | 154 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dilemma | 122 | 0.06 | 3 min |





