








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 872 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 155 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




124 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10454 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6177 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 12052 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 11342 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,501,790 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 649 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tha chubbsta | 60% | 97 |
| #2 | wgns | 59% | 63 |
| #3 | Dilemma | 55% | 147 |
| #4 | Epi | 55% | 89 |
| #5 | alexsntsv | 55% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !Flop | 68 | 0.0195 |
| #2 | butterscotch | 53 | 0.0247 |
| #3 | Shace | 39 | 0.0131 |
| #4 | denial off the galaxy gas | 37 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | tha chubbsta | 35 | 0.0187 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !Flop | 714 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | denial off the galaxy gas | 383 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | stickytip42 | 232 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | badger | 198 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | 黑暗幽灵 | 192 | 0.11 | 4 min |





