








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 519 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 609 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1817 | 7% |
| Smokes | 5144 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7910 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 9400 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,568,221 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tay-K 47 | 49% | 375 |
| #2 | Jack The Bipper | 48% | 254 |
| #3 | Mr. Electric | 47% | 172 |
| #4 | 𝔑𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓁ℯ | 46% | 215 |
| #5 | thuey | 44% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jack The Bipper | 48% | 254 |
| #3 | Mr. Electric | 47% | 172 |
| #4 | 𝔑𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓁ℯ | 46% | 215 |
| #5 | thuey | 44% | 96 |
| #6 | Wok tarantino | 44% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tay-K 47 | 26 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Mr. Electric | 18 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Jack The Bipper | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | thuey | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | 𝔑𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓁ℯ | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tay-K 47 | 1164 | 0.15 | 26 min |
| #2 | Mr. Electric | 995 | 0.27 | 22 min |
| #3 | thuey | 229 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Wok tarantino | 143 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jack The Bipper | 138 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tay-K 47 | +1.87 | 58 | 57 |
| #2 | Mr. Electric | +0.10 | 36 | 75 |
| #3 | thuey | -0.03 | 24 | 55 |
| #4 | Stick talk Tony | -0.40 | 37 | 47 |
| #5 | Jack The Bipper | -0.78 | 52 | 38 |





