








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 625 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18770 | 49% |
| Smokes | 2131 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 9994 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7796 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $781,981 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kernze | 54% | 52 |
| #2 | 𝔑𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓁ℯ | 50% | 74 |
| #3 | Tay-K 47 | 48% | 211 |
| #4 | Stick talk Tony | 47% | 172 |
| #5 | Jack The Bipper | 47% | 443 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Stick talk Tony | 47% | 172 |
| #5 | Jack The Bipper | 47% | 443 |
| #6 | ひ Real Dope Fiend™ | 44% | 70 |
| #7 | thuey | 44% | 204 |
| #8 | Wok tarantino | 40% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jack The Bipper | 27 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | thuey | 17 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Tay-K 47 | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Wok tarantino | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | ひ Real Dope Fiend™ | 7 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tay-K 47 | 612 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | thuey | 375 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Jack The Bipper | 248 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #4 | Wok tarantino | 216 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Stick talk Tony | 200 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tay-K 47 | +1.40 | 55 | 57 |
| #2 | ひ Real Dope Fiend™ | +0.94 | 41 | 52 |
| #3 | kernze | -0.06 | 58 | 45 |
| #4 | Mr. Electric | -0.22 | 33 | 74 |
| #5 | thuey | -0.22 | 24 | 52 |





