








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 509 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 114 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3902 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3193 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3401 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3772 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,149,076 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Midget Jesus | 49% | 49 |
| #2 | Tay-K 47 | 46% | 161 |
| #3 | Stick talk Tony | 44% | 126 |
| #4 | 𝔑𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓁ℯ | 43% | 46 |
| #5 | YashaQAQ | 42% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 𝔑𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓁ℯ | 43% | 46 |
| #5 | YashaQAQ | 42% | 105 |
| #6 | thuey | 42% | 117 |
| #7 | Jack The Bipper | 42% | 316 |
| #8 | Mr. Electric | 40% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Electric | 29 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | YashaQAQ | 14 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Jack The Bipper | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Tay-K 47 | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Stick talk Tony | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Electric | 1050 | 0.27 | 24 min |
| #2 | Tay-K 47 | 483 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | YashaQAQ | 291 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | thuey | 230 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Stick talk Tony | 186 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YashaQAQ | +4.10 | 78 | 55 |
| #2 | Tay-K 47 | +1.48 | 59 | 57 |
| #3 | Mr. Electric | +0.39 | 32 | 76 |
| #4 | Midget Jesus | +0.19 | 39 | 62 |
| #5 | thuey | -0.29 | 24 | 54 |





