








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 472 | 6% |
| Smokes | 2342 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2539 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3102 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,074,107 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thuey | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | Mr. Electric | 50% | 74 |
| #3 | Jack The Bipper | 49% | 109 |
| #4 | Tay-K 47 | 48% | 226 |
| #5 | Stick talk Tony | 46% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mr. Electric | 50% | 74 |
| #3 | Jack The Bipper | 49% | 109 |
| #4 | Tay-K 47 | 48% | 226 |
| #5 | Stick talk Tony | 46% | 215 |
| #6 | Wok tarantino | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tay-K 47 | 20 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Stick talk Tony | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Jack The Bipper | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Mr. Electric | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | thuey | 4 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tay-K 47 | 671 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | Mr. Electric | 428 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #3 | Stick talk Tony | 187 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | thuey | 84 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Wok tarantino | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tay-K 47 | +2.21 | 59 | 57 |
| #2 | thuey | +1.00 | 21 | 56 |
| #3 | Stick talk Tony | -0.29 | 38 | 45 |
| #4 | Mr. Electric | -0.59 | 38 | 76 |
| #5 | Jack The Bipper | -0.79 | 53 | 35 |





