








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 524 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 675 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5822 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1339 | 6% |
| Smokes | 10149 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 8005 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4241 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,777,330 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kernze | 50% | 52 |
| #2 | ひ Real Dope Fiend™ | 50% | 105 |
| #3 | 𝔑𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓁ℯ | 49% | 109 |
| #4 | Stick talk Tony | 48% | 254 |
| #5 | Tay-K 47 | 47% | 328 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tay-K 47 | 47% | 328 |
| #6 | Mr. Electric | 47% | 443 |
| #7 | thuey | 46% | 254 |
| #8 | YashaQAQ | 44% | 43 |
| #9 | Wok tarantino | 42% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Electric | 73 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Tay-K 47 | 21 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | thuey | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | ひ Real Dope Fiend™ | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Wok tarantino | 9 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Electric | 2789 | 0.30 | 58 min |
| #2 | Tay-K 47 | 1050 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #3 | thuey | 553 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #4 | Wok tarantino | 388 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | ひ Real Dope Fiend™ | 300 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YashaQAQ | +5.24 | 78 | 58 |
| #2 | Tay-K 47 | +1.67 | 57 | 57 |
| #3 | ひ Real Dope Fiend™ | +1.12 | 39 | 55 |
| #4 | Mr. Electric | +0.10 | 32 | 73 |
| #5 | kernze | -0.20 | 62 | 48 |





