








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 684 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 540 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6076 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4756 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6503 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4225 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,944,998 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 959 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stick talk Tony | 49% | 375 |
| #2 | Mr. Electric | 48% | 211 |
| #3 | 𝔑𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓁ℯ | 48% | 226 |
| #4 | Jack The Bipper | 47% | 328 |
| #5 | thuey | 47% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 𝔑𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓁ℯ | 48% | 226 |
| #4 | Jack The Bipper | 47% | 328 |
| #5 | thuey | 47% | 137 |
| #6 | Wok tarantino | 46% | 161 |
| #7 | ひ Real Dope Fiend™ | 46% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Electric | 21 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Jack The Bipper | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Stick talk Tony | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | thuey | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | 𝔑𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓁ℯ | 8 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Electric | 1257 | 0.28 | 28 min |
| #2 | thuey | 353 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Stick talk Tony | 342 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jack The Bipper | 221 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wok tarantino | 189 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tay-K 47 | +1.54 | 57 | 57 |
| #2 | ひ Real Dope Fiend™ | +0.40 | 39 | 56 |
| #3 | thuey | -0.37 | 19 | 52 |
| #4 | Stick talk Tony | -0.43 | 36 | 47 |
| #5 | Mr. Electric | -0.57 | 32 | 74 |





