








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,945 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2389 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1851 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 630 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1075 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $587,890 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 801 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wallah Jeg Har En FEd Kebab | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | skuuge | 61% | 66 |
| #3 | Ezekiah | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | BBYESFREAK | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | JannickUdenC | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Xsampel | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | PRIVATE | 44% | 25 |
| #10 | Hot Neighborhood Femboy | 41% | 81 |
| #11 | NemoTheFishy05 | 35% | 23 |
| #12 | Boeing 767-200 | 32% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skuuge | 29 | 0.0226 |
| #2 | Boeing 767-200 | 27 | 0.0291 |
| #3 | BBYESFREAK | 27 | 0.0378 |
| #4 | JannickUdenC | 21 | 0.0406 |
| #5 | Don Juan Deag | 16 | 0.0208 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skuuge | 212 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Don Juan Deag | 154 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ezekiah | 87 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Boeing 767-200 | 84 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | BBYESFREAK | 63 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | +3.89 | 70 | 56 |
| #2 | Ezekiah | +2.99 | 64 | 41 |
| #3 | BBYESFREAK | +1.40 | 50 | 41 |
| #4 | JannickUdenC | +1.31 | 67 | 53 |
| #5 | Don Juan Deag | +0.01 | 24 | 52 |





