










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 230 | 25% |
| Smokes | 215 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 249 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 226 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $313,651 of utility $268 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NickyNicklas | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Ezekiah | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | skuuge | 71% | 17 |
| #4 | Don Juan Deag | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | Static | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 54% | 41 |
| #7 | Boeing 767-200 | 39% | 18 |
| #8 | Kowalski | 36% | 11 |
| #9 | Hot Neighborhood Femboy | 32% | 19 |
| #10 | PRIVATE | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 18 | 0.0250 |
| #2 | Boeing 767-200 | 15 | 0.0448 |
| #3 | skuuge | 14 | 0.0453 |
| #4 | Don Juan Deag | 6 | 0.0185 |
| #5 | Static | 5 | 0.0207 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 192 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #2 | skuuge | 74 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #3 | Don Juan Deag | 57 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Boeing 767-200 | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Static | 43 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NickyNicklas | +5.25 | 71 | 83 |
| #2 | Static | +5.02 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | Ezekiah | +4.92 | 64 | 27 |
| #4 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | +3.55 | 71 | 49 |
| #5 | BBYESFREAK | +1.81 | 52 | 40 |





