








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 818 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1123 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1192 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 394 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,358,133 of utility $299 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 647 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ezekiah | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Static | 45% | 132 |
| #3 | JannickUdenC | 44% | 57 |
| #4 | skuuge | 40% | 52 |
| #5 | Don Juan Deag | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JannickUdenC | 26 | 0.0238 |
| #2 | Static | 20 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 17 | 0.0183 |
| #4 | skuuge | 15 | 0.0144 |
| #5 | BBYESFREAK | 14 | 0.0414 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Static | 447 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 251 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #3 | Don Juan Deag | 162 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ezekiah | 161 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | skuuge | 139 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Static | +4.28 | 76 | 62 |
| #2 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | +4.05 | 67 | 55 |
| #3 | JannickUdenC | +1.80 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | Don Juan Deag | +1.41 | 32 | 57 |
| #5 | BBYESFREAK | +1.25 | 54 | 38 |





