








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1112 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3861 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 2254 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1921 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $885,653 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ezekiah | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | Don Juan Deag | 59% | 80 |
| #3 | Wallah Jeg Har En FEd Kebab | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | JannickUdenC | 55% | 55 |
| #5 | ✪ TOXIC | 54% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Hot Neighborhood Femboy | 39% | 54 |
| #12 | Xsampel | 38% | 63 |
| #13 | kreuk | 38% | 45 |
| #14 | PRIVATE | 35% | 66 |
| #15 | Boeing 767-200 | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ TOXIC | 28 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | JannickUdenC | 27 | 0.0260 |
| #3 | Static | 18 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | Don Juan Deag | 15 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 14 | 0.0166 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Static | 381 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Don Juan Deag | 274 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 197 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ezekiah | 182 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Xsampel | 170 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ TOXIC | +4.79 | 63 | 43 |
| #2 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | +4.39 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | Static | +4.39 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | kreuk | +2.40 | 59 | 51 |
| #5 | Ezekiah | +2.36 | 64 | 56 |





