








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 549 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 135 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




137 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3035 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1916 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2572 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2404 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,556,736 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1076 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Don Juan Deag | 43% | 74 |
| #9 | Bias | 43% | 35 |
| #10 | Hot Neighborhood Femboy | 41% | 59 |
| #11 | Boeing 767-200 | 40% | 52 |
| #12 | Bruhn15 | 35% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cracker got a ar | 58 | 0.0262 |
| #2 | mikkelmhg | 28 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 27 | 0.0209 |
| #4 | Don Juan Deag | 25 | 0.0169 |
| #5 | Static | 23 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Static | 484 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 351 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #3 | cracker got a ar | 258 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Don Juan Deag | 226 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | mikkelmhg | 206 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | +4.73 | 66 | 56 |
| #2 | Static | +3.79 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | cracker got a ar | +2.08 | 45 | 39 |
| #4 | JannickUdenC | +1.98 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | Don Juan Deag | +1.65 | 26 | 48 |





