








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 237 | 23% |
| Smokes | 488 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 172 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 156 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,174 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 604 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ezekiah | 49% | 43 |
| #2 | NemoTheFishy05 | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | Static | 47% | 176 |
| #4 | Don Juan Deag | 46% | 92 |
| #5 | JannickUdenC | 46% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Kowalski | 39% | 54 |
| #12 | Boeing 767-200 | 39% | 98 |
| #13 | BBYESFREAK | 32% | 19 |
| #14 | PRIVATE | 24% | 29 |
| #15 | Culf | 23% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Juan Deag | 29 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 29 | 0.0193 |
| #3 | Boeing 767-200 | 27 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | JannickUdenC | 27 | 0.0201 |
| #5 | Static | 14 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Static | 542 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 346 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | Don Juan Deag | 289 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | skuuge | 147 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ezekiah | 144 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | +4.36 | 73 | 60 |
| #2 | Static | +3.96 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | JannickUdenC | +2.44 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | BBYESFREAK | +1.95 | 65 | 43 |
| #5 | Ezekiah | +1.43 | 65 | 54 |





