








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1056 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




99 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5787 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4048 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2448 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3729 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1876 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,742,121 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xlout | 59% | 135 |
| #2 | Abe | 56% | 95 |
| #3 | TEANIE PEANIR | 53% | 213 |
| #4 | Ball | 51% | 69 |
| #5 | Nemo | 48% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ball | 51% | 69 |
| #5 | Nemo | 48% | 58 |
| #6 | Shady Milkman | 44% | 84 |
| #7 | PR1ME | 44% | 332 |
| #8 | alex | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PR1ME | 88 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | Ball | 25 | 0.0176 |
| #3 | xlout | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | TEANIE PEANIR | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Shady Milkman | 6 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xlout | 447 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | TEANIE PEANIR | 404 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Nemo | 215 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | PR1ME | 178 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | Abe | 101 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xlout | +4.87 | 76 | 59 |
| #2 | Ball | +4.06 | 53 | 49 |
| #3 | Nemo | +3.29 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | Abe | +1.51 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | ShlimeDitty | +0.06 | 58 | 38 |





