








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1831 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1190 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




128 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17728 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 61,739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 23519 | 38% |
| Smokes | 13576 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 11573 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 13071 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,153,900 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7616 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xlout | 56% | 394 |
| #2 | ShlimeDitty | 53% | 213 |
| #3 | shyaM | 51% | 158 |
| #4 | ✪ Smovey | 49% | 421 |
| #5 | Abe | 48% | 1114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ム | 46% | 157 |
| #11 | Shady Milkman | 44% | 534 |
| #12 | daisy | 43% | 146 |
| #13 | matt-E | 41% | 190 |
| #14 | y0gi | 36% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Smovey | 130 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | Nemo | 61 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Abe | 42 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | daisy | 36 | 0.0122 |
| #5 | Shady Milkman | 30 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nemo | 2956 | 0.15 | 77 min |
| #2 | xlout | 1323 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #3 | Abe | 1294 | 0.06 | 34 min |
| #4 | matt-E | 1239 | 0.31 | 35 min |
| #5 | shyaM | 1134 | 0.33 | 32 min |





