








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 631 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2156 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 428 | 25% |
| Smokes | 201 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 422 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 694 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $348,238 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xlout | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | TEANIE PEANIR | 46% | 56 |
| #3 | ShlimeDitty | 44% | 332 |
| #4 | Abe | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xlout | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | TEANIE PEANIR | 46% | 56 |
| #3 | ShlimeDitty | 44% | 332 |
| #4 | Abe | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShlimeDitty | 63 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | xlout | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | TEANIE PEANIR | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShlimeDitty | 535 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | xlout | 125 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | TEANIE PEANIR | 80 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Abe | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xlout | +4.83 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | Abe | +1.83 | 63 | 49 |
| #3 | ShlimeDitty | +0.93 | 59 | 33 |
| #4 | TEANIE PEANIR | -0.15 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | PR1ME | -0.28 | 78 | 17 |





