








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 429 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4502 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5207 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3349 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4917 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,296,024 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 334 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiDD_BEAST123 | 24 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Andy M. Willard | 19 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | MtEveroso | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | LinemanLuke | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | ParagonCrit | 3 | 0.0038 |





