








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,828 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4338 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3477 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2672 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2341 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,199,877 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 517 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | None | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | vettra | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | KRS | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | KiDD_BEAST123 | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | TimoVicious | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KiDD_BEAST123 | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | TimoVicious | 53% | 38 |
| #6 | M1kklo23 | 46% | 24 |
| #7 | ~/.dss | 45% | 29 |
| #8 | Shrugged | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TimoVicious | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Shrugged | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | KiDD_BEAST123 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiDD_BEAST123 | 126 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Shrugged | 107 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | TimoVicious | 89 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | ~/.dss | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | None | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1kklo23 | +2.14 | 84 | 51 |
| #2 | ~/.dss | +0.83 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | ParagonCrit | +0.63 | 41 | 66 |
| #4 | KRS | +0.13 | 50 | 55 |
| #5 | Shrugged | -0.16 | 53 | 65 |





