








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 947 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1776 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2450 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1920 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1614 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,133,240 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 399 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MtEveroso | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | Alt Acc | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | AMP3D | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | KiDD_BEAST123 | 55% | 120 |
| #5 | LinemanLuke | 54% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KiDD_BEAST123 | 55% | 120 |
| #5 | LinemanLuke | 54% | 56 |
| #6 | πΏπππ | 53% | 30 |
| #7 | TimoVicious | 47% | 36 |
| #8 | ParagonCrit | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiDD_BEAST123 | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | MtEveroso | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | TimoVicious | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | LinemanLuke | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | AMP3D | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiDD_BEAST123 | 427 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | LinemanLuke | 237 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | MtEveroso | 148 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | AMP3D | 109 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | TimoVicious | 77 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1kklo23 | +1.89 | 86 | 51 |
| #2 | Alt Acc | +1.47 | 68 | 53 |
| #3 | KiDD_BEAST123 | +0.38 | 56 | 60 |
| #4 | ParagonCrit | +0.25 | 32 | 65 |
| #5 | AMP3D | +0.10 | 69 | 67 |





