








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,998 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2732 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3109 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1271 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1886 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $578,225 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axxert | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | mmmmm | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | Usan | 62% | 42 |
| #4 | Luzz | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | An4rchy | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Usan | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | threeNil | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Aggressivee- | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | mmmmm | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | axxert | 2 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >:( | 190 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Usan | 175 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Aggressivee- | 144 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | threeNil | 134 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ Vern | 128 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aggressivee- | +2.61 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | axxert | +2.56 | 51 | 61 |
| #3 | Usan | +2.45 | 84 | 58 |
| #4 | mmmmm | +2.05 | 80 | 57 |
| #5 | An4rchy | +1.92 | 90 | 57 |





