








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1329 matches | ||
| Premier | 335 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
21985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 71,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 24599 | 35% |
| Smokes | 20360 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 9604 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 16629 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,537,117 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2447 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P0iS0N0uS | 69% | 314 |
| #2 | ✪ Beast | 66% | 140 |
| #3 | sohai lanjiao gugubird | 66% | 113 |
| #4 | An4rchy | 56% | 131 |
| #5 | Sinon△ | 56% | 490 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinon△ | 42 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Illyasviel von Einzbern | 18 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Wilsohain Kok Jia Wei | 17 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Kierz | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | SpawN Jr. | 10 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinon△ | 2047 | 0.19 | 45 min |
| #2 | ✪ Vern | 1943 | 0.15 | 50 min |
| #3 | P0iS0N0uS | 1481 | 0.23 | 32 min |
| #4 | ✪ Beast | 1001 | 0.35 | 24 min |
| #5 | SpawN Jr. | 980 | 0.30 | 24 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Illyasviel von Einzbern | +2.38 | 84 | 36 |
| #2 | An4rchy | +1.95 | 90 | 56 |
| #3 | P0iS0N0uS | +1.85 | 86 | 53 |
| #4 | ✪ Beast | +1.80 | 81 | 70 |
| #5 | Sinon△ | +1.53 | 86 | 57 |





