








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2796 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3275 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2247 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2475 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2457 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $635,884 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | odingCoding | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | joy lobo | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | RizkyGTG | 61% | 59 |
| #4 | Usan | 61% | 204 |
| #5 | Aggressivee- | 60% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Usan | 19 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Aggressivee- | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | mmmmm | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | bebek | 7 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | astronoi | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Usan | 876 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #2 | Aggressivee- | 458 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #3 | astronoi | 327 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | mmmmm | 210 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | OpeL | 154 | 0.17 | 4 min |





