








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 778 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10456 | 31% |
| Smokes | 9850 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5984 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 7963 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,310,272 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 726 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | An4rchy | 53% | 136 |
| #11 | >:( | 52% | 584 |
| #12 | ok.™ | 50% | 58 |
| #13 | akmc021 | 48% | 66 |
| #14 | jn♡ | 45% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinon△ | 16 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | >:( | 10 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Illyasviel von Einzbern | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | 1z | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | ok.™ | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >:( | 2081 | 0.16 | 52 min |
| #2 | Sinon△ | 1222 | 0.19 | 27 min |
| #3 | P0iS0N0uS | 437 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | An4rchy | 404 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | SpawN Jr. | 392 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | An4rchy | +2.04 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | P0iS0N0uS | +2.01 | 87 | 53 |
| #3 | Sinon△ | +1.69 | 86 | 55 |
| #4 | akmc021 | +1.54 | 85 | 55 |
| #5 | Illyasviel von Einzbern | +1.48 | 82 | 24 |





